Category: Getting to Know You
Recently there have been a number of topics enquiring as to peoples’ sexual preferences, what people do and don’t like, or would and would not have done to them, some of which have been quite explicit and revealing, and these posts, and the vast numbers of responses to them have left me somewhat intreagued. So I have come up with a list of questions of my own.. and yes, in due course I will answer them myself...
1. would you admit to your friends if you had only ever had one partner? Or do you feel that only having ever slept with one person makes you inadequate somehow?
2. do you view sex as a pleasureable activity which should be enjoyed by all? Or do you feel that sex is something that should only happen between two people who love each other, and as an expression of that love?
3. do you talk about your sexual habbits/preferences to your friends, and therefore are you also interested in the sexual habbits/preferences of others? Or do you feel that what goes on between two people is sacred and therefore should remain behind closed doors, and does others talking about their sexual habbits make you uncomfortable?
4. are you very adventurous, and therefore is it difficult for you to see that others are sometimes more reserved, and do you therefore view people who are not so adventurous as prudes? Or, (if you’re adventurous) do you think that everyone’s preferences should be respected? Or are you very reserved and do you feel sometimes that others feel you should change because there are certain things that you won’t do?
5. do you have sex? Or do you make love?
1. have had more then one partner
2. i don't kiss and tell to others never had
3 i respect all persons sex life and don't judge them either
4 i leave mine behind close doors
5 i believe in both depends on the woman
Aww Clare!!! hehehehe I hope to be the first to answer these!! But you should be the second!! heheheheh
Ok, here are my answers!
1. Yes, I would admit to my friends that I've only had one partner. I don't think of it as me feeling inadequate, necessarily but I would admit to it all the same.
2. I'm kind of in the middle on this. I do agree that sex should be enjoyed but don't believe that it is right to go screw anything that moves! heheeheheh
3. My answer to this question would have to be "Of course, I talk about it!" hehehehe Look at my last posts that I've posted to!!! heheheeh I believe that if you don't talk about it, then you won't learn for yourself whether you are normal or not, sexually-wise!
4. I wouldn't say that I'm reserved or adventurous, but ly somewhere in the middle. There are certainly some things that I wouldn't do but some things I would!
5. lol Clare. During my current relationship, I would have to say, I "make love!" hehehehe
So now that I've answered, you must go and answer my topic!!! heheheheheh
*sexy*
yayayayayayayayayay, Claire's back! hugs! Good questions! I can't believe I'm answering theese questions. I'm usually not the type to talk about this stuff. Even with my best friends. But yeah, here it goes. 1. I have had three partners I'm the type that has to know it is something real before i will sleep with them. I waqs in a relationship for a year, and never slept with him, because I somehow knew it was going no where. Hmmmm, Why didn't i end it then? I don't know! heheheh 2.
1. I don't see why you would not admit to only having one partner when you takl to others. In fact I find that sign of great integrity and something that I'd have to admire about that person more than anything, I'm not one of them obviously lol but I really respect that about someone in a way, especially if I know the reason being his/her choice not lack of opportunities.
2. The latter, sex should be about expressing your feelings towards that person. It isn't always and I've definitely been gulty of trying sex out for its own sake, with great disappointment (not to lack of eehm "talent" or passion just for lack of pleasure and connection) and that's something I won't even want to do again really. I think sex should be about expression of the underlying feelings you have for that person. That's just my personal preference and I am not gong to tell you that if I were single and partying and had the opportunity with someone I found attractive I wouldn't do it, but I do believe though that it would always be a bit of a disappointment because the emotional portion of it were missing. I think at least you have to feel close to the person you with enough to trust him/her and it being more than just absolutely pure physical thing.
3. I think certain sexual things can be discussed, I think learning from others or asking a friend if they have some things they like/don't like .. tricks of the trait etc is fine and acceptible and I find the whole sex dsex discussion on here amusing for sure, but I don't think I'd ever want to post all my sexual habits and desires publically or start treating it like every day hobby and I definitely would not respond to those public sex habit questionaires online, I feel that would start devaluing sex for me and I don't want that to happen.
4. I think that question really is between the people involved. Putting your finger up someone's butt is not my idea of pleasure or intimacy but if that was something my sexual partner or rather lover wanted I wouldn't just be completely closed to the idea. I think as long as you don't have strong reasons or dislike something intensely you should try and please your partner and fulfil his/her fantasies, I think that's just part of loving someone and wanting to make that person happy. By the same token your partner needs to know your limits and not ask you what he/she knows you are absolutely opposed to doing or feel extremely unconfortable with, the idea e.g. of giving or receiving oral pleasure is that someone wants to satisfy you and make you feel happy without asking for immediate favor or pleasure in return, if you were receiving that knowing that the person giving it really hated the act and was doing it out of sense of duty or something like that it would just be awkward. Just like anything it's a matter of communication.
5. You can do both but love making is wonderful and there are no words to describe the feeling you get from it, sex is fine and dandy and quite refreshing, one can scertainly have both but just having sex is not as fulfilling.
oops didn't paste it all! 2. heheh my first answer answers this one to! 3. as i said before, no I don't go into deap details about my sex life. I mean I do talk about it, but it's hard to get details from me! No, I don't mind when others talk about it! If they feel comfy then so be it! 4. I wouldn't say i'm a dud, but I wouldn't say I'm overly adventerous. There are many things, I jsut wont try! Step away from my bum! and the last one 5. Makeing love all the way. although, after doing this a few times, it does sometimes turn into sex. It may still be a part of making love, but yeah! heheheheh
This is a record for me---2 board posts in less than half an hour.
To answer the first one, I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting to someone you have only had one partner, but I have had more than one.
2, An interesting question. I for one could not have sex with someone I didn't care about, but as for loving them? Hmm, not necessarily. I have had sex with people I have loved, and with a couple that I have only cared for, just kind of a spir of the moment thing. I'm not saying by any means that I sleep around, because I don't, but at the same time, there are times when people have needs, and I'd rather have sex with a friend who I might not necessarily love, but that I at least care for, verses a total stranger.
3, Ok this one. I do think that what goes on between two people is essentually private. However, I do not have a problem listening to what others like, it can be arousing sometimes. As for myself though, I'm not one for bragging, or telling others what I have done or not done, but I listen to others a lot so I can learn new things. I have asked a friend or partner if something I happen to like is right or wrong, but that is it.
4, Yes, I am adventurous by nature, and I'd try almost anything at least once. I also believe that what people like to do is their own business. I dont' have to like or agree with it, but if it is what they like, then it's what they like.
5, This is a hard one for me. I think that I have only truly "made love" once in my lifetime and it was so wonderful. I think that there is a fine line between sex and making love and sometimes it's hard to know which it is you are doing. I have had crazy wild sex, just for the pure pleasure of it, and I have had sex with a person because I believed I loved them.
wow, well put sieren I'm pretty much with you on all points there.
1, Of course I'd admit to my friends if I only had one partner, I don't like lying, and find it to be the most distasteful thing in the world. Where's the shame in only having had one?
2, I think sex should be enjoyed by everyone. It's obviously more desireable that people love one another, but why should those of us who can't find that love, be left without sex?
3, I enjoy talking about sex as everyone around here knows. However if I was in a stable loving relationship then it would be noone's business except ours. and yes, if I'm sharing my experiences, I want to hear of other peoples. The only experiences I have problems with are gay men's, I just find it makes me feel a little ill. I respect them and their way of life, but also just don't enjoy hearing about their sex lives.
4, I'd like to think I'm a little adventurous, but I also believe that we should respect everyone's position on this. As a result though I believe it desirable to try and find someone with which you have chemistry, so that one of the couple doesn't feel unsatisfied.
5, In a long term relationship, I'd definitely be making love, apart from those occasions when lust just overtakes. the rest of the time it's sex, and as long as we're honest about what we want I don't see any problem with that.
Hey all well my turn I guess.
1. I don't have any problems with someone only having one partner, I have had to many to count and now it isn't something I am proud of. but I can't change the past only change the future.
2. I think that sex is something that should be enjoyed by all, I think not allowing someone to explore a little bit of there sexuality is harmful. it's the same way as growing spiritually or mentally. You need to try a few things to figure yourself out.
3. I am pretty open, I can talk about just about anything and I think among people that you feel comfortable with you should be able to do the same. but I don't count an Internet board is a group of people you feel comfortable with. Well not on the same level as me and a few guy friends that know all there is to know about me. heck I think sitting down with a few guys or girls and talking about your deep dark secrets is actually helpful. You might be amazed to find out your not so weird after all.
4. I like to think I am pretty adventuress, but there are limits to that. I won't do something with another male or try and get my partner in to a 3 some, I've done those sorts of things and found that there not for me and heck proods are kinda sexy! lol.
5. I think as some others have hinted at that you can do both, sometimes you can have sex and some times you make love and that is all with one person. grin
Ok time for my own reply then.
1. I have only had one partner and am not ashamed to admit it, but I do think that at my age I am somewhat unique.
2. while sex is an enjoyable activity of course, I believe that it is something that should happen only between two people who love each other, and as an expression of those feelings for each other. But no reason why those two people can’t enjoy it,after all if you didn’t enjoy it you wouldn’t do it would you …
3. I have never been the type to discuss my sexual preferences/habbits with others, not even my closest friends. And while I have no issue with the way some people discuss their likes and dislikes in public, I do find it somewhat tasteless if the people involved are in relationships. Like kev I have no desire to hear about the sex lives of gay people.
4. I am quite a reserved person and do believe that some would perhaps view me as somewhat of a prude. I have no issue with what others do in the bedroom, and I can be adventurous if I so choose, however I think that people should respect each others’ preferences and limits, and I believe that nothing is unacceptable as long as it is conducted between consenting adults.
5. definitely make love. I think that pure sex is meaningless and I would feel totally worthless if I had meaningless sex with someone, however again I think that if that is peoples’ way of life then as long as all parties are aware that it means nothing there is nothing wrong with that.
OK I have posted on most of these boards, so decided to do it again.
1. I have admitted in the past of only having one partner.
2. I see sex as a pleasurable thing, but I see it differently in a relationship. It somehow is different when you enter a relationship.
3. I am very open about what I do. And I have friends who are the same so I am use to it.
4. I am more adventurous now then I was in the past. And as for others it is what ever floats their boat.
5. Outside of a relationship it is just sex. When I am in a relationship and love someone it is then Love making.
BB
! Nope not ashamed to say i have only had one lover. lol one cause i'm dang good at what i do and very open to learning knew stuff.
2 I find sex to be GREAT hehe I do think that some acts of sex such as threesomes or other such acts should be gotten out of the way before you choose that one special person to merry.
3. I feel the best way to learn is from others. I have always been very curious as to how it can be done many other ways and all the different fetishes.
4. I am very open minded and can talk about any aspect of sex depending on how it is talked about and the age of who I am talking to. I respect everyone so if I am talking about some thing of a sexual nature and there is some one I find that is not comfortable I will take the conversation to private or I will change the subject untill another time. Now talking about sex and talking to some one about your personal sex I think there is a fine line that you should not cross as there is two people involved in the act there for I think you should take into consideration how they feel. Like I have a friend on here who I know in person and though I can tell her anything about anything I am very carefull what I do say as I don't want to make my love feel weird around her. Example lol My baby sister loves to talk to me about sex and what I have learned over time and we compare notes lol but I have found it at times waaay to much info and it's weird seeing her husband in the same light knowing some of his bed time behavior lol.
5: OH yeah I have SEX and make love. Making love is very nice and all but some times you just gotta get it lol.
1. I don't see a problem what so ever with admitting to only having one partner.
2. I think it depends on the person. I could never do it without the emotion involved, but there are those who can, and as long as they're completely honest, everyone knows the score, and all parties involved in any way are willing to accept the consequences...
3. I don't mind it being talked about, and under most circumstances I don't mind talking about it, but I do like to be polite; normally, and therefore if someone is uncomfortable I'll be glad to try and change the subject; as some around here know that attempt isn't always successful.
4. "I'll try (almost) anything once, twice if I like it and more then that if I really like it." I generally don't find that moddo hard to abide by. *grin* However, if someone is more adventurous then myself; more power to them, and if someone is more caucious; then they'll probably stay alive a bit longer. Every view point has it's advantages and disadvantages, and as long as you hurt no one do as you will.
5. When it comes to a long term or love filled relationship it's making love, but anything else is just sex, and as I said before I can't do it without the emotion so, for me it's always making love.